Week 12 Story: Carrying the Family Mantle
Carrying the Family Mantle
Ava looked at the fur mantle spread proudly on the wall above the fireplace. "You've never told me about this, Mary."
Mary shuffled next to her and looked up at it. "My family and I tend not to talk about out of doors," she said. "Most people don't believe the story behind it anyway."
Ava shifted. "What's the story?" she asked, though she already knew it.
"One night, 500 hundred years ago, twelve witches came to the house. Long story short, my ancestor drove them out of the house with a trick. When they came back she had already protected the house, so they couldn't get back in. They fled again, and one of them left her mantle."
Left? Ava frowned. "You're sure it wasn't stolen?"
Mary rolled her eyes. "Why would anyone want to steal a witch's mantle?" She shook her head. "Anyone with any sense knows that would be a terrible idea."
"Have the witches ever tried to get it back?"
"Plenty of times," Mary said. She looked at Ava. Her brown eyes were serious. Ava had never seen her like that before. "Do you know what witches they were, Ava?"
Ava swallowed nervously. She looked back at the mantle, unable to hold Mary's gaze. "I don't," she lied.
Mary hummed and looked at the mantle with her. They stood in silence for a few minutes. It felt like an eternity to Ava.
"I can't let you take the mantle, Ava," Mary said.
Ava started and looked at her. "What do you mean?" Guilt twisted her stomach. She really did like Mary. She was the closest friend Ava had ever had.
Mary tapped Ava's forehead where a dark bump had taken up residence nearly a week ago. Ava stepped back and shooed Mary's hand away. "That hurts," she said. "You don't go around poking other people's blackheads."
"It's a horn," Mary said. Her tone was flat and blunt. Ava knew her well enough to know that tone meant she was unhappy, very unhappy.
"It's a blackhead."
"We've known the Twelve Horned Witch was close to death for months now, Ava. When she dies, the other eleven plus a new witch grow another horn. In your case, this will be your first."
Ava turned from her. "I need the mantle, Mary. I have to prove I'm worthy of my horn."
Mary scoffed and shook her head. "This mantle has protected my family and land for five centuries, Ava. Once its magic was cleansed by the Spirit of the Well, it became a force for good."
"It's only been good for you!" Ava reached up for it.
Mary shoved her away. "I know all magic is not bad, Ava, but the Horned Women, really? They're some of the worst!" She grabbed Ava's shoulders. "Please, Ava, don't do this. I can't lose you and the mantle."
Ava's palms burned with magic and shame. "You're just as much bound to your family tradition as I am. I don't have a choice. I'm stuck." She pushed Mary away. An explosion of magic whipped out of Ava's palms and knocked Mary into the far wall. She groaned and lay still on the floor.
Ava grabbed the mantle off the wall. The fur warmed at her touch. The white coloring burned off, leaving a dark black behind. With a flourish, Ava wrapped herself in the mantle and fled out the door. Behind her, Mary shouted her name.
Ava did not look back.
Author's Note
This story is based on "The Horned Women" from the Celtic Fairy Tales unit. The woman of the house does drive the witches away and one does leave her mantle. At the end of the story, it says the mantle was kept by the family for 500 years. I wanted to know why 500. Did something happen? Did they lose it? This is my interpretation of what happened! In the story, the first witch has one horn, the second has two, and so on to the twelfth witch who has 12 horns. I wanted to make it where it was like a family thing. The oldest witch is the one with 12 horns, and the youngest has one. Because the 12-horned witch is about to die, that means there has to be a new witch, and that's why Ava is about to grow her horn.
Bibliography
The Horned Women from Celtic folklore in Celtic Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs
Image: The Horned Women. 1892. John D. Batten. (Source: Celtic Fairy Tales)
Hi Natalie,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I liked the overall depiction of your story and the backstory of the horned witches that was from the Celtic Fairy Tales. The part where one of the witches grows a horn whenever one dies from the twelve in existence. Something that I wonder is that how is Mary so knowledgable about these witches, like how she mentioned that the twelfth witch was dying? Was it because it was passed down from her family for the past 500 years? I think this information would be good for the ending!
Hi, Natalie. Great job on your story. I liked the addition of the witches growing a horn to replace the one that had died. My primary critique is I think you tried to tell a much bigger story than this word count allows and it suffered because of it. A lot about the world and how these girls know everything they know feels lost. I understand everything but only because I take their word for it. Maybe try scaling down this tale a bit or rewriting it so that more backstory is explained for the audience.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I really enjoyed reading this story. I really like the backstory and details that you included to make this story work so well! I agree with Caleb's comment, I think you tried to tell a very big story in such a short amount of time which is a very hard thing to do sometimes. What I have always done is written my story full out and told every detail I wanted, and then cut it down to fit the word count, this may be a beneficial activity for you to say everything you want in a short amount of time.
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